Placement

After leaving the hospital Thursday night, I drove to Alicia's (Alan's sister) house in Lehi.  She was so generous to allow us to stay with her.  She even gave us her master bedroom and moved herself into the guest room!  I spent the next two days, hanging out with Alicia and Elise (my sister), doing last minute shopping and trying to mentally prepare myself for placement on Saturday evening.  It was an anxious two-days and I didn't sleep much.  A good run on the Jordan River Parkway helped calm my nerves and renewed my confidence in my own abilities though.

Alan left his marathon early to fly to Salt Lake.  His flight landed at 4:20 pm.  We made a 5-minute stop at Alicia's so he could shower (since he hadn't been able to in two days) and then went straight to the hospital.  We were both nervous because we hadn't had any communication from Heidi's caseworker telling us where to go or what to expect.  Everything seemed to be in order once we got to the maternity ward however.  

Heidi's entire immediate family had gathered to support her.  Her room was full of people, but as soon as we walked in, Heidi handed our baby to Alan and said, "Here's your daddy!"  Both Heidi and I were too emotional to say much else right then.  There were a lot of tears.  I simply don't have words to describe my feelings in that small room filled with so much love.  Heidi's family was there loving and supporting her.  Alan and I also felt so much love for her and were ready to love and cherish the precious baby she had carried.  And most of all, Heidi loved him so much that she was ready to make the incomprehensible sacrifice to place him in our arms and walk away.  It was an experience that cannot be comprehended without experiencing it yourself and one we will forever hold dear to our hearts.

Alan got to hold the baby while Heidi signed all of her papers.  This was good because I needed his input on the name.  Before he was born, we had pretty much decided on Kaleb as the first name.  When I met him, however, I just didn't feel like he looked like a Kaleb.  I was hoping Alan could have a few minutes to meet him and help me decide before we had to write it on all of our paperwork.  Mason is a family name from my Dad's side and was our 2nd choice.  Alan agreed with me that it fit better than Kaleb, so Mason it was.  We had asked Heidi to give us some input on the middle name several months ago.  She suggested Mark after her grandfather.  He died long before Heidi was born, but Heidi had felt his presence supporting her during her pregnancy and wanted to honor him for that.  We loved the idea of having that connection to his birth family so we named him Mason Mark Rasmussen.

After Heidi's papers were all signed, we took these few pictures.  They are so beautiful and precious to me.  Then Heidi kissed little Mason goodbye and left with her family.  I cannot comprehend the courage and strength that took.

Alan, Mason and I stayed at the hospital awhile longer to sign all of our paperwork.  These were the papers that gave us physical custody of Mason.  (LDS Family Services will retain legal custody until the adoption is finalized in about four months.)  We also had to take a newborn education course from the nurses.  We wound up waiting a long time because the nurses were quite busy.  I had done some reading up on newborns and felt pretty confident in my abilities to care for him, but it was a good refresher.

He was a daddy's boy from the very start!

We were finally ready to leave the hospital at about 8:00 pm - 2.5 hours after arriving.  A nurse walked us to the car to make sure our car seat was installed correctly and we headed off.  I remember being so scared to take care of Spencer when he was born, that I cried when it was time to leave the hospital.  There was none of that trepidation this time - just amazement that he really was ours and an ache inside because I knew Heidi was experiencing extreme pain so that we could have this joy.

Alicia welcomed us to her home with a sign, balloons, and much needed pizza.  We were famished after the stress of the day!

Mason's Birthday!

I have so much to catch-up on!  Mason is already over two-weeks old, but I have been soaking up every minute of this incredible new-born stage and haven't done much of anything else.  I doubt however, that any words I could write will adequately convey the miraculous experience his adoption has been for us.  The joy, heartbreak and mostly love we feel are too great to be contained on paper or on a computer screen.  Even our hearts can barely contain our emotions.

As her due date drew near, our birth mother, Heidi, kept us well-informed of her progress.  Things seemed to be moving quickly at her 38-week appointment and we went into panic mode to get everything ready on time.  Nothing happened that week though, and her 39-week appointment on Wednesday, September 10th didn't show much progress.  Now that the essential preparations were complete, we relaxed a little.  Alan and I decided that we didn't care when he came as long as it wasn't on Thursday, September 11th.  Alan's race timing company was directing The Oregon Marathon that coming Saturday.  Because Alan is the co-owner of the company and the main timer, the race (which had been planned for over a year and had over 1,000 registrants) simply could not go on without him.  We knew that if Heidi had the baby on Thursday, placement would have to take place in Utah on Saturday and that would really complicate things.

You would think that after all we have been through trying to grow our family, that we would have learned that we are not in control.  Ha!  But, I was still a little dismayed about Alan's schedule when Heidi texted me at 2:30 Thursday morning to say she thought her water had broken and was heading to the hospital.  I laid in bed for 30 minutes praying for it to be a false alarm, but Heidi called at about 3:00 am to say she was being admitted to the hospital and that baby was coming today!

I got up, showered, packed, did laundry and tried to get everything ready before Spencer woke up at 7:00.  Because of the timing, my sister who was supposed to help with Spencer while we were gone was unavailable.  We gave Spencer the choice of coming to Utah with us or staying home.  He didn't want to miss school so chose to stay home.  Thankfully, I had the best visiting teacher in the world who agreed to take Spencer for a week without any hesitation.  We got Spencer off to school, Alan headed to work, and I left for Utah a little after 8:00.

I drove like crazy all day - fueled by adrenaline and Twizzlers and only stopped three times during the entire 13 hour trip.  Heidi had invited me to be there for the birth, but I knew I probably wouldn't make it in time.  I got a phone call from Heidi's sister a little after 5:00 saying that he was here!  Our baby was born at 5:03 pm on September 11, 2014.  He weighed 6 lbs 9 oz and was 20 inches long.  He was perfect and had a dimple.  I pulled over to call Alan and Spencer and cry a little from happiness.  It was such a surreal feeling to know that our baby was here, but I was still five hours away.

Heidi's mom texted me these pictures of Mason's first few hours.  The look of complete love and  pain on Heidi's face cracked my heart.  I cannot imagine what her feelings must have been.

Completely exhausted, I finally arrived at American Fork Hospital at about 10 pm.  Even though I'm sure Heidi was even more exhausted than I was, she was so welcoming and let me hold our sweet boy for about an hour.  He really was perfect and was loving his binky already.  Even though I knew he would be coming home with us in a couple of days, he still didn't feel like my baby yet.  I thought it might be hard to leave him at the hospital that night, but it was ok because I didn't yet feel a strong attachment.  Also, I knew he was in the very best of hands.  Heidi had taken such good care of him and herself during the pregnancy that I had honestly never had one moment of concern for his health.  I left the hospital feeling elated, missing Alan and Spencer, and so, so tired.  What a day! 

The Nursery!

The baby's room isn't 100% complete yet, but it's as close as it's going to get for now.  It has been so fun putting this room together!  I am completely in love with the adorable crib bedding Alan's mom and sisters made for us!  The colors are vibrant and perfect for a little boy.

Spencer had to show off his wink. ;)

I found the rest of the furniture at garage sales this summer.  I got the white shelf for $10 and the blue shelves for .$10.  The room is rather squishy at the moment because it's also functioning as a guest room.  The changing table is in the closet and the rocking chair will go downstairs in the living room which is much closer to the kitchen where I'll be fixing bottles anyway.

This is a close-up of the sweet water color my sister Elise painted for us.  I still need to frame it.

And, I actually made this little dinosaur!  It almost killed me to sew something, but I'm pretty sure I had heavenly help and it turned out better than I had hoped.  It is made from the crib bedding fabric and I made a matching dinosaur for our birth mother.

This sleeper is where baby will really be sleeping for the first little while.  Spencer had such a hard time sleeping on a flat surface, that I knew I need to get one of these when I saw them.  It's inclined and narrow - perfect for keeping a tiny baby snugly.  Plus, it folds up so we can take it to Utah with us pretty easily.

Orange Dragons

We signed Spencer up for Sherwood's outdoor youth soccer league this year.  I made sure to get him on a team with a friend and he LOVES it!  His team is the Orange Dragons.  They have been practicing twice a week since the beginning of August and had their first game the 2nd Saturday of September.  There are 12 kids on the team, but they divide them in half for each game.  So then, they have two games going at once and play 3-on-3.  It works out really well for these younger guys because it prevents a big mob of kids running around after the ball.

A lot of the kids on his team are in kindergarten, so Spencer has an advantage with age, height and experience.  He has improved a lot since last year and it's fun to watch him play.  Go Orange Dragons!

First Grade!

Spencer started first grade on Tuesday.  He was so excited and ready.  He was super excited to wear his new Blade (from Planes Fire and Rescue) shirt and his new tennis shoes.  He was also really looking forward to eating lunch at school and playing on the big kid playground.  His PM kindergarten bus didn't come until 11:15, so leaving the house at 7:40 is an adjustment for us.  Spencer gets a little grouchy when he's rushed in the morning and it makes it kind of hard to fit in my morning run.  We're working on it though and can hopefully get a little more comfortable with it before a new baby changes everything!

So tall and grown-up!

Spencer leaves before Alan most days.  It will be really nice to have someone to help get Spencer to the bus when the baby is here.

I took him to school the first day and got to go to the classroom for just a few minutes.  Spencer's teacher this year is Mrs. Ayres (pronounced "aires").  She seems great so far.  Spencer has four other kids from the ward in his class and several others that he knew last year.  He wasn't one bit nervous and got straight to work that first day.  He wasn't sad to seem me go at all.  I was a little sad, but no tears this year.  I've had plenty of baby preparations to keep me busy so I haven't just been sitting home missing him.

The only hiccup the first week happened the very first day.  Mrs. Ayres bribed the kids to keep their name tags on all day with a treat.  Someone had given her a present with candy that day so she decided to use it as the treat without tasting it.  When Spencer asked if it had peanut butter in it, she told him no and that it was a skittle.  It took Spencer about half a second to sense the peanut butter after it was in his mouth.  They must have been Reece's Pieces.  He didn't swallow any and rinsed his mouth out really good so he didn't have a reaction, but with peanut allergies, you never know when a bad reaction is going to happen.  Scary.  Mrs. Ayres called me before Spencer even got off the bus and apologized.  She felt really bad and I hope will be more careful in the future.  That incident didn't affect Spencer's love of school however, so I guess we're still ok.

Labor Day at Cannon Beach

Labor Day was the one and only day Alan could go to the beach with us all summer.  After hearing rave reviews about Cannon Beach from a couple of friends, we decided to go there.  And, we were not disappointed.  Cannon Beach is definitely my new favorite.  The sand was perfect and there was a lot of it.  Plus there was a small river that was perfect for little kids to play in.  The day was warm for the Oregon Coast (mid 60's) and it was perfect except for a few sprinkles.

Sand soccer is our new favorite beach activity.  All of the bumps kind of even the playing field for Spencer and I against Alan.  

Alan didn't have much luck with sand castles, so he and Spencer built a 4-way tunnel instead.  My castle turned out pretty awesome, if I do say so myself!

When we got tired of playing in the sand, we set of on a walk to Haystack Rock.  We walked for an hour and almost made it to our destination.  Amazingly, Spencer was so busy looking for broken pieces of sand dollars that he didn't complain once.  We were surprised that the water in the ocean was actually warmer than the water in the river.  That's usually not the case around here.

Cannon Beach is a quaint, little town and I wish we had more time to explore.  We just checked out a couple of shops and ended the day with ice cream cones (pistachio almond is delicious!).  We had to be home fairly early because school started the next day.  It was seriously a perfect day and was so wonderful to have Alan with us for once.  I was sad that the sun came out just in time for us to leave and I can't wait until we can go back to explore some more!

Last week of Summer

When the last week of summer hits every year, I suddenly realize how fast time has gone and we try to cram in as much fun as possible.  That feeling was even stronger this year as I realized that it was the last time I would ever just have Spencer home with me all day.  I put most of the baby preparations on hold and just enjoyed my best buddy.  I didn't take many pictures, but we had a great week playing with friends and playing in the water.  this summer flew by with lots of trips, but it really was a fantastic one.  I seriously enjoyed having Spencer home with me all day and am missing him now that he's back in school. 

 
I did get Alan and Spencer to set up the crib though.  Spencer was a good helper this time.  While I wouldn't have chosen to have almost 6.5 years between my boys, it is nice that Spencer is old enough not to still feel jealous about the baby using all of his old baby things.  Hopefully the whole nursery will be done soon so I can post more pictures!