The February that changed everything!

February started out completely normal.

Spencer is a super busy teen these days but we made time to go on a date to see The Boys in the Boat movie together. We had both read the book the previous summer and liked it so we were excited for this movie. We really liked it and it was really good to spend some one on one time with Spencer.

I had spent the previous year and a half working with the Activity Day girls in our ward, but our new Primary President asked me to switch to working with the boys this year. Yay for getting to be with Mason and being able to make sure he was having activities! We made paper airplanes and did three different contests with them at our first activity of the year.

Mason's choice of outfit for school one morning. Haha!

Basketball continued:

Alan flew to AZ to run the Mesa half-marathon again. I think this was the third time he's done this one. He is too busy with work to train for any spring or fall races so he likes to do one in the winter and then Hood to Coast at the end of summer. Our friend Glen and Marc were so good to host and give him rides to the airport and he had fun visiting Lindsey's family. He ran better than he did last year and was happy with his time of 1 hour 41 minutes.

Then I received a text on Monday, February 5th that changed our lives forever. My cousin Lauren Crowther texted to see if we would be interested in adopting her son Dannon's girl friend's baby girl! Our response was ABSOLUTELY!!! but we weren't positive that the baby's mother (Lily) would actually go through with it. Lauren's sister Marie had made us aware of baby Angelina when she was in the NICU in December, but we figured Lily had decided to parent since Marie had been unable to talk to her about placing the baby for adoption. It turned out that Lily had decided to parent. She tried it for three months and then decided she wasn't ready to be a mother. She knew about our family's desire to adopt from Lauren (and I think Marie and Natalie early in her pregnancy) and told Lauren she wanted to place Angelina with us asap.

Since we didn't have a valid home study, we could not bring Angelina home from Idaho until our home study was updated (a minimum of 4-6 weeks). Lily wanted the placement to happen much sooner than that though so she chose to bring Angelina to us. It was decided that Lauren, Dannon, Lily, and Angelina would fly to Portland on Saturday night. Lily would spend that evening and Sunday getting to know us and would meet with the attorney we hired to represent her to sign papers on Monday morning. Of course, Lily had every right to change her mind if she didn't feel good about the placement. So we knew they were coming and that there was a chance of placement, but it wasn't certain. 

The next few days were a total whirlwind of still doing our normal jobs and activities, but also making legal phone calls, travel arrangements, cleaning our house, and preparing for the possibility of a baby very soon. The only people we told were our bosses since Alan would need a little time off and there was a possibility that I would be quitting my job that week. Thankfully, Ranell was super supportive and I am so grateful for that!

I had donated most of my baby stuff last summer so we were not prepared physically or emotionally for a baby. Thankfully, we still had our pack 'n play and Lily was planning to bring as many of the essential small items as she possibly could. Alan and I were thrilled about the possibility, but Spencer and Mason weren't sure what to think. Our family was calm and quiet and we had good routines going so they weren't sure they wanted things to change. Ultimately though, this was Alan's and my decision and we felt good about moving forward.

Of course this all happened the week that Alan was scheduled to fly to Phoenix for his half marathon. We decided that he would still go since his flight would return just a couple of hours after our guest's flight would land.

I was really nervous while driving to the airport on Saturday evening. I had spoken to Lauren several times and had texted her a lot that week but hadn't had any direct communication with Lily. I picked them up on the curb, we gave awkward hugs, then worked together to secure Angelina's car seat in my car. It was dinner time and they were all hungry so we drove to a nearby Red Robin. 

Lily immediately starting telling me about Angelina and all of the baby items she was going to give me. I was surprised by her openness and apparent resolve in her decision to place Angelina with us without knowing much about us at all. I asked lots of questions and Lily seemed happy to answer everything. And, I got to hold and feed our sweet baby for the first time during that dinner. She was so tiny (10 lbs.) and had dark hair and a dark complexion. Lauren had told me the suspected birth father was Latino, but we hadn't seen any pictures of Angelina before meeting her.

After eating, we drove 45 minutes back to our house. Alan actually beat us there since dinner took a long time. We spent a few minutes introducing everyone and chatting before going to bed that night. We put Dannon, Lily, and Angelina in Mason's room and Lauren volunteered to take the couch. We had originally wanted to rent an Airbnb for them so everyone would be more comfortable, but our attorney strongly suggested they stay with us so they would have more time and access to get to know us.  

Sunday was a very weird day. Angelina hadn't slept well and Dannon was sick. Lily, Dannon, and Angelina were still in their room when the rest of us went to church and were still in there when we came back. Lauren went and got Angelina when we got home but we didn't see Lily or Dannon until 3:00 that afternoon. They wanted to go see a movie so we dropped them off at the theater and the rest of us went to the temple grounds for awhile. We had to take two cars and Lily and Dannon rode with Alan so he had some good time to talk to them at least.

Angelina slept downstairs with Lauren that night because it was getting too hard for Lily to care for her. I was in the awkward position of wanting to help, but not quite knowing what my place was.

Monday morning dawned sunny and not too cold and things felt less awkward than the day before. The boys went to school like normal and I sat in my car for a bit after dropping Mason off to write a letter to Lily. She came down stairs a little while before we needed to leave for the attorney's office so we got to chat a little bit then. She is so sweet and young and has had such a hard life so far. Hearing about her childhood broke my heart. No one should be treated the way she has been. Lily mostly focused on the positives of the time she got to spend on her grandma's farm and her love for animals though.

When everyone was ready, we drove two cars to the attorney's office in Beaverton where Lily met with the attorney and signed the placement papers. They stated that her rights would be terminated once our home study was complete so we knew she had the choice to change her mind for a few weeks, but weren't very concerned about that. Lily gave every indication that this is what she wanted and probably needed to do.

After all of the paperwork was done, we had a couple of hours before Lily, Dannon, and Lauren needed to be at the airport. Lily really wanted to see Pittock Mansion so we went there. Lily, Dannon, and Lauren went one way and Alan, Angelina and I went another. It was so weird to be in a random, public place like that during such a poignant moment.

We met back up in the parking lot when it was time to go for a few pictures and for Lily and Dannon to say goodbye to Angelina. They sat in the backseat of my car with her for some private time to say goodbye. Maybe Lily just hid it well, but I was surprised at how little emotion I saw from her. No tears at all.

Then Lily, Dannon, and Lauren got into Alan's truck to go to the airport and I drove home through tears with baby Angelina. I will never forget the awe and overwhelm I felt while I drove. We went from having zero adoption prospects and just starting to make peace with the fact that we likely wouldn't have another child in this lifetime to bringing home a baby in one week! It was miraculous, amazing, and terrifying!

And now, for the overload of pictures!

Temple grounds 2/11/24:

Attorney's office 2/12/24:

Pittock Mansion 2/12/24:

Words can't really describe how we feel about Dannon, Lily, and Lauren and we will always treasure these pictures. This adoption never would have happened without Lauren and her sister's influence on Lily and Dannon. Mason came to us partly through Alan's cousin Brenna and now we have another miracle partly through my cousin. Cousins are awesome!

Despite the fact that our lives turned upside, Valentine's Day still came and Mason still needed Valentine's for school. Thankfully, they were mostly finished before the craziness started.

Our ward was AMAZING right after Angelina came! Word spread very quickly and the Child family just texted Alan and said they were bringing dinner that night. Our RS president, Darcee Burnett, brought this amazing meal the next night and then had the compassionate service leader set up TWO weeks of meals for us after that! Everyone was thrilled for us and so many people wanted to help. It was so nice not to have to worry about grocery shopping or cooking and to just be able to focus on our family during that time. 

Krew's mom sent me this picture of the field trip to Adam's Screen Print she attended with Mason's class.

First outing: Valentine's Day date to Target for baby essentials.

Valentine's Day haul from school!

First basketball game:

This was how we had to store her clothes and supplies for a few weeks until we got some nursery furniture. Our room became the nursery and Angelina moved into our closet. :)

Sleep was super rough for about three months. Our elation carried us through the first few weeks, but then the sleep deprivation caught up to us. It was SO much harder to heal with in my early 40's than it was in my early 30's with Mason. And, it was incredibly hard that this time happened to be during track season for Alan. He had to travel a fair amount and worked long hours when he wasn't out of town. He was amazing when he was home and took equal night shifts with me, but it was still SO hard for awhile.

Finally finished the Valentine's I had started for preschool about a week late. I was SO happy, but it was sad and a little hard to go from working with lots of kids and other adults several days a week to just staying home all of the time. I didn't even get to say goodbye to my preschool kiddos because I worked my last day before knowing Angelina was coming that weekend. 

Spencer's seminary class kept a prayer list all year long and I was touched to see Lily's name on it when I was at the church building a couple of weeks after placement.

The YW in our ward were amazing too! They had an activity to make us two, big freezer casseroles, frozen cookie dough and cards. They were so cute!

First family pictures! 

First walk in the stroller. I was SO grateful that I had kept our awesome Bob stroller!

After a lot of thought and prayer, we decided to change her name from Angelina Rose Sanders to Angelina Grace Rasmussen. Angelina was a very special and meaningful name to Lily and we didn't want to take that away from either of them. Lily chose it because she felt like her baby was an angel with the way she survived her premature birth. Alan and I needed a name that made her a part of our family too though. Choosing the name Grace was actually a very easy decision since that name had held special meaning for me for several years. 

We went through a very painful failed adoption experience just after we were approved for this adoption in September 2019. As I was trying to pull myself back together and heal after that experience, I listened to a Don't Miss This podcast that taught about God's grace while running on the treadmill early one morning. I was struck by how God's grace had upheld and supported me during that very difficult time and had the thought that Grace would be the perfect name for a baby girl if we were ever able to adopt one. I held that name in my heart for 4.5 years and Alan immediately agreed to it when I mentioned it to him. We feel it is the perfect way to describe how this baby came to us and how we got through such a long, painful journey. We have decided to call her Grace/Gracie as a constant reminder of God's goodness in our lives.

It was more than a coincidence that the Don't Miss This word of the week was grace just a couple of weeks after she came home to us. 

We're not very crafty in our house, but Mason was excited to use paint pens to decorate his scriptures. I think it turned out awesome!

Trying so hard to roll over:

We put the changing table in front of our bedroom mirror out of necessity, but it turned out to be the perfect place for it. Gracie loves smiling at us through it!

Mason's 3rd grade music concert. Mason doesn't love singing in public, but he did a good job and I think had a fun time. I took him to Handle's for ice cream afterward. Alan was out of town that evening so Spencer got to babysit Gracie for the first time. He did great!